Healing After a Traumatic Birth: What Every Parent Needs to Know

Written By Norma Martinez

What if giving birth didn’t feel like the happiest day of your life? What if it left you feeling scared, violated, or alone? It’s a common assumption that if a birth results in a healthy baby, then everything must be fine. But for many birthing people, the emotional aftermath tells a different story. Research shows that up to 1 in 3 women describe their birth as traumatic (Wetherell, 2022), and for some, those experiences can lead to postpartum PTSD, depression, anxiety, or a lasting sense of disconnection (Furuta et al., 2016).

As a therapist who specializes in maternal mental health and trauma, I’ve sat with countless new parents who felt shame for not feeling ‘grateful enough’ after their births. I often work with new parents who are grappling with what they should feel versus what they actually feel after birth. If this sounds familiar—if you find yourself avoiding thoughts of your birth, feeling on edge, or struggling to bond with your baby—you’re not alone, and more importantly, you’re not broken. 

What Makes a Birth Traumatic? 

Trauma isn’t defined solely by medical emergencies. What’s traumatic to one person may not be to another—and that’s valid. A traumatic birth might involve:

  • Feeling dismissed, unsafe, or unsupported during labor (Leinweber et al., 2022) 

  • Non-consensual procedures or interactions that felt violating, including what’s often called obstetric violence (Leinweber et al., 2022) 

  • Unexpected complications or fear for your baby’s life (Wetherell, 2022)

  • A sense of helplessness or being out of control 

Importantly, trauma can occur during vaginal births, emergency or planned C-sections, or assisted deliveries. It can even arise from births that were medically “uncomplicated.” What matters most is how the experience felt to the person giving birth (Leinweber et al., 2022). 

Common Signs of Birth Trauma 

While some symptoms may resemble postpartum depression or anxiety, trauma often leaves a distinct emotional imprint. Called re-experiencing, many people may re-live traumatic events through flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, or nightmares (Wetherell, 2022). Others may find themselves experiencing avoidance symptoms, which include avoidance of hospitals, birth-related conversations, and/or interactions with their baby, amongst others (Wetherell, 2022). 

Emotionally, birth trauma can bring intense feelings of guilt, shame, hopelessness, and/or a sense of emotional numbness. These emotions are clinically classified as negative alterations in mood (Wetherell, 2022). Physical discomfort is also common, as those who have experienced birth trauma report difficulty sleeping, feeling constantly “on-edge” (hyperarousal), and heightened

irritability. These reactions are more than just the “baby blues” - they are real, trauma-based responses that deserve trauma-informed support and care. 

The Impact of Birth Trauma 

Unprocessed trauma can shape everything from how a parent connects with their child to how they feel about their body, their medical providers, and even the idea of future pregnancies (Leinweber et al., 2022). That’s why trauma-informed, perinatal-specific care is so important, restoring your safety, agency, and trust. 

EMDR for Birth Trauma: A Promising Path 

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is one of the most effective trauma therapies available today, and its use in postpartum care is growing. Studies show: 

  • A 76% reduction in trauma symptoms after just three EMDR sessions for birth trauma (Wetherell, 2022) 

  • Significant improvement in postpartum depression symptoms as well (Wetherell, 2022) 

National guidelines - such as those from the UK's National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) - now recommend EMDR as a frontline treatment for birth-related PTSD (Wetherell, 2022). For clients who feel stuck in the fear or helplessness of their birth story, EMDR offers a structured, compassionate way forward. 

The Importance of Client-Centered Care 

One of the most important things we can do as providers, partners, or support people is to validate the birthing person's emotional truth. That means: 

  • Listening without minimizing 

  • Avoiding language that blames or pathologizes ("It’s just how you perceived it…")

  • Recognizing that trauma responses are deeply shaped by individual history and culture (Leinweber et al., 2022) 

Even when medical outcomes are “successful,” birth trauma can leave lasting emotional scars. With the right support, healing is more than just a possibility! 

Healing Is Possible: Trauma-Informed Support for New Parents

If you or someone you know is navigating the emotional aftermath of a traumatic birth, know that you're not alone, and you don’t have to figure it out in silence. Trauma-informed care, like EMDR, can help make sense of what happened and reclaim your story. 

Mental health professionals can play a vital role in this healing by:

  • Routinely screening postpartum clients for trauma (not just depression)

  • Using warm, non-pathologizing language 

  • Offering or referring out for trauma-focused therapies like EMDR or TF-CBT Collaborating with OBs, midwives, and doulas for integrated care (Furuta et al., 2016) 

Birth is complex. And healing can be, too. But with support that honors your story and centers your experience, recovery is absolutely within reach.

Norma Martinez